Essay Revision Process

My last post, The Problem with the Societal Ideas of Gender, was originally a synthesis essay for my English class that was eight pages long. It argued about how someone could deflect gender norms and the expectations to be this or that which can oppress a certain gender. It contained the same arguments of outsiders as my blog post, except they were more elaborate. It gave solutions that pertained to education, the role of men, and respect. It was a lengthy eight page essay about gender equality and equity that I somehow managed to turn into a 1,170 word blog post, which is about a 3-4 page MLA formatted essay, a.k.a. a much easier essay to get through to read.

It was difficult to even start the blog post. I didn’t know how to start my argument or what I should leave in and take out. What was relevant? What would get my point across? What was my main point and purpose of my argument? I began the same way I began my eight page essay: feminists have been fighting for equal representation in high positions in careers, but work-life balance proves them incompetent. And just like my essay, I steered my argument in a completely different direction than I expected myself to. As a feminist myself, I believed the role of men in families and the need to educate oneself on the matters are both extremely important solutions to a problem I thought I was addressing.

However, I realized that was not what I wanted to argue at all. After much contemplation, I threw both solutions out. What I found was that I believed in the respect for each other as a human being to be able to achieve any sort of equality or equity among us. This is what shortened my 8-page essay into a more concise blog post. Because I found my own single argument during the revision, I was more direct in what I said by repeating “To me…” It felt more personal, which could make my argument more persuasive.

By cutting out certain parts of my essay, I realized many of my sources for my essay’s argument were not relevant to my updated argument. Many of those sources were also readings in our English textbook, but for a blog post, using only readings would probably bore my reader, you, to death. To resolve this issue, I had to find images, comics, videos, and statistics that would strengthen, not only the ease to read the post, but also my entire point of expectations, hypocrisy, and consciousness. For the video, I knew I wanted to put a TedTalk in because usually, the speaker advocates for an issue more elaborately and effectively than I ever could. At first, it was difficult finding the perfect one. However, after a couple of hours of searching, I found one that was relevant to my blog post.

(Here is the video at the time she says it to make it easier for your own access, but watch the whole video also if you can because it is very thought-provoking.)

The thing was though, it was only one line. When looking for the perfect video, I didn’t know what I was looking for. All the videos I found didn’t fit my argument even if I agreed with what they said or not. Then Martha Mosse said that one line that I found fit perfectly with part of my argument, women are not considered women when acting outside of their gender roles. After passing this obstacle, I continued on with the rest of the blog post.

For my other sources, I block-quoted the quotes since they were important enough to emphasize. They, for the most part, exemplified the ends of the spectrum of “yes, ambition please” and “no, ambition is good, but what are the consequences”. I also felt that the two had very intriguing points to think about and made my argument stand out.

Overall, it was quite difficult turning a very long essay into a pretty short blog post. However, throughout this process, I found my true voice in the argument I was presenting. Hopefully, if you are not familiar with the topic, you will find some thought-provoking insights that could enlighten your views on societal issues and could cultivate a consciousness that was not there before.

The Problem with the Societal Ideas of Gender

In past decades, feminists have advocated for more females in the power because of the unequal representation of gender in government and other top positions that have resulted in the oppression of the female gender.

Today, this is still being fought for. However, what if the result of placing women in power was the fact that they find out that they cannot stay in that position of power due to the inability to balance work and life(or in other words, their responsibilities as a top level employee and as a mother). This is an argument that many would make to discourage women from aspiring for heights where women are scarce within the field. They try to tell women, “You cannot be an effective mother if you are a CEO and vise versa.” However, many of these “many” would also argue, while attempting not to be offensive, that women do not belong in such job positions. There are also people on the other side of the spectrum who belittle women who cannot balance work and life just because they can or they know women who can.

To me, this is all wasteful thinking.

To me, uplifting the gender discrimination and oppression takes more than putting women in places of importance whether it be at work or at home.

To me, women should have the ability to dream and to demonstrate their skills to the best of their abilities as any person. Women can be inferior. Women can be superior. Men can be inferior. Men can be superior. Both are human beings with aspirations and the drive to reach them, yet it is unusual for women to act on their huge aspirations.

So what? The first step to solving any problem is to address that there is one. Women are indeed still seen as inferior to men, although that is slowly changing in America. It is quite sad actually that many of the same power attributes that are assigned to men are seen in a negative light when attributed to women. Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s current chief operating officer and female activist, shares this sentiment in her excerpt “Lean In: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?”:

“Professional ambition is expected of men but is optional – or worse, sometimes even negative – for women. ‘She is ambitious’ is not a compliment in our culture.”

Women are seen as unladylike (because what a terrible image that women would act as anything outside their gender stereotypes) and are patronized for their lack of domesticity. This reinforces how women are oppressed just by the words and the gender roles that tell them that they are not allowed to be someone or to do something because it is not very feminine.

In this video, Martha Mosse points out, “If a woman hasn’t married or has children, then she has failed at being a woman.” There exists an instinctive thought that women should be a familial character and not one who is single and ambitious. “She’s unapproachable. She’s uptight,” people might say. Unlikable maybe. But people don’t wish to be unlikable.

Although some might say that women personally place themselves in that oppressed position, the truth is that from birth, many females have the idea ingrained into their minds that they are inferior to men, should act a certain way, or be a certain kind of person. Mass media feeds the public this kind of concept and cultivates an inherent feeling that women are in a sense weaker than and below men. The major imbalance between the two genders is inevitably seen by society when surrounded by media that portray such norms.

 

We cannot also forget the pressures that women receive from the other side that chides women for not being the ideal “strong” woman with the ability to balance work and life. The CEO of the New America Foundation who stepped down from her position in the government, Anne-Marie Slaughter, realized this when reflecting over how she used to advocate that women can have it all and do it all.

“I’d been part, albeit unwittingly, of making millions of women feel that they are to blame if they cannot manage to rise up the ladder as fast as men and also have a family and an active home life.”

This criticism contradicts the idea of feminism because it pits women against women and reinforces the idea of women’s inferiority. If women kept in their minds that it is possible for them to balance work, life, hobbies, and such and are not able to, they may feel as though they are not worthy of such gender equality because they did not prove they can be as powerful as men are perceived to be.

This comic perfectly displays the hypocrisy in some feminist thinking when feminists degrade women who do not follow what they believe is liberation and superiority. This again oppresses women from doing what they want and what they can since what they want and what they can do is perceived as actions that place them on a lower level in society.

So how can we solve this problem?

A person’s changed mentality could be a solution. One needs to be able to dispel stereotypes that one is tempted to apply to the person they meet or to society as a whole to be able to rid the perception of inferiority one might have on a certain person. Remembering that every individual is different and might be as driven and hopeful and any other individual is another way of confronting this problem. When we are able to control our instinct to judge and categorize others, we can lower the chances of criticizing or condescending someone based on their gender or any other societal aspect. When we start considering people as human beings that are trying to live their lives to the fullest, less insults with certain negative connotations toward genders could be thrown around. When we start respecting each other, we can move away from degrading each other.

Consciousness and acknowledgement of the injustice ingrained in our society can force people to think before they act on the basis of subconscious prejudice. Every act one makes will affect and reflect the gender roles and norms. As long as everyone does his or her  part, slowly, women will be able to be as ambitious and worthy as men are seen in the world. The future may hold equal representation in government, more women CEOs, and much more acknowledged influential women in every aspect of life and not just in gender injustice.  We might not reach that goal in this generation, but there is no doubt we are headed in that direction. Women should continue to aim for what they can as men play their part to do away with inequity towards women. As gender roles are slowly becoming mixed together,the patriarchal norms are also slowly dying out. Together, as the human race, we will find a way to spread justice and fairness among the genders.

Works Cited

Sandberg, Sheryl. “What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?” Lean in. S.l.: Virgin, 2013. N. pag. Print.

Slaughter, Anne-Marie. “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.” The Atlantic. Atlantic Media Company, 13 June 2012. Web. 04 Dec. 2015.

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